NOTHING GOOD IS FREE

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Hey guys! Actually I’m thinking of writing on this as a reflection. Few things happened these couple of days regarding on this and they kinda made me thinking.

Well, stepping into the adult life, we can’t escape of the fact that we need to make our own decisions on everything. Or maybe most of the things. As for me, although I was trained to make decisions since I was in school or university, yet I think it is more intense the older we get. I’ve been chatting with my friends, my old friends, and my best friends. Coincidently the issues kinda same.

STUCKED IN BETWEEN CHOICES

It’s like “I want this, but I also want that”, “I want to go but I don’t want to leave them”, “I want to do all but the packed commitments do affect other people too”, “I want to work but I want to study”, and the list goes on.

Yeah it’s tough right?

One of my friends told me something that opened my eyes when I told her that I envy of those people yang hidup dah senang dapat kerja duit banyak etc2.

And she said, “Yeah but have u ever think what they’ve lost as a payment for success? What have Allah taken from them in order to give something great? Dia hilang mak dia, ayah dia dah makin tua, dia hilang umur dia belajar lama-lama. Dia hilang keinginan nak berfesyen smart2 sebab fikir tanggungjawab. Sanggup ke family hilang dari kita as a payment for those great success? Kalo I, I tak sanggup. Tengok semua adik2 dah berubah dah makin dewasa pun memang terasa I hilang masa I dengan family I. I paling tak boleh kalo hilang family.”

DANGG!!!

Perghh deep much sehhh. And I can’t agree more. Indeed the sacrifice is real. Indeed the struggle is not a joke. Indeed the pain is to bear. Because I’m experiencing the same. I’ve made my decision to further my Masters studies far away from everyone as I’m blessed with scholarship from the institute, Alhamdulillah. Yet the price is so much to be paid. I will lose my time with my family, I will have to survive by myself there for almost 2 years and the most important thing is I will lose my precious time with my husband, I will have to deny the instincts for having a baby for now.  Kadang terasa kejam juga plus people keep asking my why I’m not going there with my husband bla3 tho we got reasons.

But that is it! That is the price if I’m going to get a step further in my life. If we are not willing of those, then goodbye Masters! Kan?

And then last night my bestie reached me telling me that she’s in dilemma of her job and studies. Wait. It’s 2 jobs and masters study phewww. Katanya her packed commitments already affected other team members so she can’t stay put anymore. So she’s postponing her studies for the sake of her job training. After the life gets stable in the job then she will continue the courses. Ironic right? Well, that’s life! Tak semua yang kita nak grab tu kita dapat. Kadang ada yang masih belum rezeki kita. Our task is to try our best. And for you, may Allah ease your way, dearie.

So that is it. Nothing good in this world is free. We need to sacrifice precious things for them. But once the decisions are made, then no more turning back. Just step ahead. Yes life is just not easy so embrace yourselves. But always remember that Allah will lead the way for you till the end. And that was how you’ve survived all this way. And will also survive by that way, insyaAllah. Chill.

Apa-apa sekalipun, ikhlas dengan segala pengorbanan, sabar dengan segala dugaan yang datang. Kerana syurga itu sedang menanti hambaNya yang beriman.

Wallahua’lam.

First 100 Days of Us

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Hey peeps!

Hope everyone is in the best state yea. So finally I’m here special for this big new stage of my life:

MARRIAGE

Entah laa tapi cam comel je kah3

Well actually I just want to note this here so I can always remember this early stage of our marriage. I don’t have any intention to spread annoying stories and so. Though I actually start this entry as one of my friend suggested me to update on my marriage coz she forgot that I already got married hahahh. So below are my thoughts. Enjoy reading! ;)

It has been 103 days since I got married to a very kind man on 7/7/17. And I learnt so much on living together with our partner. Yes I did live together with my friends during my university days. Changing roommates every session, with different pesen for each. YET, IT IS NOT THE SAME. For marriage, we’ve accepted somebody to go through the journey together, we need to adapt with the habits, which sometimes are good habits and there is no exception to bad habits too. PLUS AND PLUS my husband and I are living with the only two of us. Not like other people living with family or in laws after got married so we can draw our own picture. 

As for me myself, it feels like I’m getting to know to someone new though we’ve known each other since 2011. Yet I didn’t know him so much back then cause we had a long distance relationship before, only few meetings in a year and these went on for 4 years since we declared to wait for each other on Eidul Fitr 2013 and got engaged on 2014. So there were only good attitudes there hahaha. Though that time I was denying that we were only showing our good self. I thought that that was already my real me. Yes it was real, but not all attitudes were revealed LOL. (And yes congratulations to both of us surviving 4 years of LDR Alhamdulillah ^^ Nak tips pm tepi hahaha).

Looking backwards, honestly I feel blessed with this man I married. Of course he is not the perfect man in the world, but he’s too good for me already. A tolerate and nice and lovable man. Yet he do has flaws. Humans kan.. He is not a bad tempered person but I will back off if he is pissed off on his office matter and so. I’ve seen he’s being mad for once on that and I hope I won’t see that again hahahah seram sehhh orang tak pernah marah tetiba meletupp!!! Tatau nak react cemana LOL tho it’s not because of us. He’s lack of sense too (typical man) so I will have to tell him if there’s something going on or you will makan hati sensorang laa kalo tak luahkan hahaha. But every time he did bit wrong, he will apologize and so do I. This is what I like for both of us. Communication and tolerate is the key here. So I hope we can maintain this.

 All my gratitude to Allah swt, Alhamdulillah for blessing me with this marriage. He didn’t mind of my pesen selekeh and ganas (due to living with 5 boys at home LOL), well we did gusti and sumo sampai tergolek2 kah3 teruk betul. He’s also fighting so hard to adapt with his cengeng wife yang sikit2 nak berair mata kalo touching pape maigadd annoying betul bini camni hahahah. And he didn’t mind that I want to further my studies far away from him, yet he is the one who supports the most! He also taught me of what I didn’t know, he let me be the queen of our palace, letting me to decorate and serlahkan bakat as housewife. The most important thing is, he will finish off everything that I cook for us, each time. Like pinggan semua licin sehhh!! Of course I won’t mind cooking for him if that is the way he eat my cooking hahahah. But the negative side is both of us got spare tyres on our both sides omaigaadddddd!!! I myself gained 8 KILOS after 3 month babe duhhh!!! *facepalm* We are soooo going to do something before it’s too late LOL. Padahal dah 23 tahun hidup dengan underweight alahaii.

Of all those things, the biggest thing that I feel glad he’s being tolerate for is on pursuing my dreams. Since before we got married, he is my greatest supporter other than my family. He cleared to me that he won’t mind I’m working or studying after we got married later. He let me decide on my dreams. Whatever my decision will be, he will support. So that is why I dared to further my studies to Ireland soon, insyaAllah (Alhamdulillah I passed an interview with the Irish institute director and got scholarships^^).

Well, people keep asking me “kenapa tak bawa husband sekali?”, “kenapa nak tinggal husband sorang2 kat Malaysia?”, “tak patut betul tinggal suami macam tu” and the list goes on. Even parents pun kinda reluctant to let me go before knowing that my husband supports my decision. Allahu, only He knows how those words break my heart so much. There is no one that willing to leave their spouse for a long time laaa. I’m doing this with his support. He is the one who won’t let me give up on this opportunity. PLUS, SAPE NAK TANGGUNG WEHH DEDUA NAK DUDUK IRELAND PUHLEASEEEE!! He also got his own commitment here lah. You wouldn’t expect he will leave his job as a doctor here, right? Ceiitttt!

He once told me, “You’re going there to study. For jihad fi sabilillah. Why would I hold you back, right? Whatever your decision is, I will support you. You already got this chance. Grab it. You’ve also gone through many things for this.” 

So for the sake of knowledge, we have to go through this.

As for him, he also just passed an interview at IIUM Medical Centre and now waiting for the official letter (well I think it’s already near a month passed aigoo). Cecepatlah sampai surat panggilan tu. Let him start his new life there. It’s too stressful here. I’ve seen it myself. May he get his happiness and satisfaction working in a new place later, insyaAllah.

All in all, these are few things that I learnt from our first 100 days of marriage. May these stay forever, insyaAllah. Aamiin.

1. COMMUNICATE. 

Don’t keep it to yourself. Especially if it is a big thing. This is the key for a good marriage far from bad thoughts.

2. APOLOGIZE. 

Each time you do wrong, lower down your ego and ask for forgiveness. We can avoid hard feelings by doing this.

3. CHEERISH THE TIME BEING TOGETHER. 

Well, most of the hours are in workplace kan. So avoid negative things and negative feelings. It’s a waste of time. Take the chance to nurture the love.

4. UNDERSTANDING. 

Being a wife of a doctor, I should adapt to his priorities. Yet he also did his best for his wife so I won't feel lonely if he got on call or locum at the clinic at night. Should keep this up.

5. TOLERATE. 

We do have our things and hobbies. So do me and him. Let him have his time on his hobbies; gaming and badminton. I just let myself into badminton too so we can have fun together.

6. SUPPORTIVE. 

Seriously this heals a lot. Support each other. It is the best medicine, surely.

7. BE MATURE. 

It doesn’t matter to be a kanak-kanak Ribena till now but be wise on the situation.

8. LAUGHS. 

Well yang ni terlebih doses dah rasanya. He kept on laughing whenever I say and do something that maybe funny to him hahahah kadang pelik plak aku ni kelakar sangat keee asyik nak gelak je LOL. Yet it feels good to see him cheerful ihiks.

9. AIMING FOR HIS BLESSINGS. 

Perform solat and recite al-Quran together, go to mosque together for teachings.

10. SYUKUR. 

Always do reflections and express gratitude to Allah for His blessings. Be thankful with everything you got. It will make us value this bond.

Dear husband, I hope that we can keep on improving our life and live a happy life till jannah. The test is not yet to come but I hope we can prepare our best self to go through anything that will appear in the future. May we always refresh our love and always be the newly-wed couple living a harmonious life. Infinity thank you for coming into my life, waiting years for me, and took this ordinary little girl as your life partner. InsyaAllah we got each other forever. Aamiin.

I think that’s all for now. These are just my thoughts going through early stage of marriage. It’s still new for me to give advices and so. Me too taking positive things from others’ experiences too. So may we get the benefit, insyaAllah. Please pray the best for me, my marriage, my studies and my life. May Allah bless all of you. Thank you.

Wallahua’lam.

Long journey to go.

Whooppsss!! 1 more.

P/s: I haven't write about my wedding yet. Coz I'm still waiting for my pictures. Sobbss. Will do it. I promise. Stay tuned ^^

KAU, AKU, KITA.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Hey peeps! Miss me? Haha.

Sorry I didn't write for a long time. Tho list-to-write dah berjela.

Sekarang ni aku cuma amalkan polisi "I write when I write". Haha dan2 je kan ada polisi. Well, who cares? ;)

Kenapa aku tiba-tiba aja come out with this title? Hummm. Biasalah luka-luka kehidupan ni. Bak kata kenalan di Twitter,

"Hidup ini tak pernah sunyi dari ujian. Bila ujian akan terhenti? Bila mati la ujian terhenti."

Haha. Sentap tak sentap. Tapi betullah. Selagi kita masih diberi nikmat kehidupan, selagi itu jugalah kita takkan sunyi dari dugaan kan?

Gambar Mr.Google. 

Alkisah Kau, Aku dan Kita ini bukanlah adaptasi dari novel atau drama. Tapi dari kisah kehidupan yang aku sendiri saksikan. Kebiasaannya bila aku scroll down FB, ada saja gambar kenalan FB yang baru melangsungkan perkahwinan. Atau mungkin kenalan kepada kenalan. Dan pernah terselit satu kata pesanan daripada ayah si pengantin,

"Dalam perkahwinan ini, tiada istilah Aku, tiada istilah Kau. Yang ada cuma Kita."

Pada mulanya aku tidak mengerti sepenuhnya. Kenapa dengan Aku? Kenapa dengan Kau? Rupanya yang dimaksudkan adalah kebersamaan dalam menjalani hidup berumahtangga. Iyalah. Bila dah kahwin, tiada lagi istilah bilik aku, makanan aku, duit aku, dan juga hidup aku. Tiada juga istilah masalah engkau, hal engkau dan hidup engkau. Yang ada cuma tanggungjawab kita dan hidup kita. Bunyinya simple aja kan?

ANDAI SAJA SEMUDAH ITU.

Seram tak? Haha. 

Humm..Pada mulanya, mungkin setiap dari suami dan isteri itu akan berusaha sedaya upaya untuk jadi yang terbaik buat pasangan masing-masing. Terutamanya kepada seorang yang tak pernah berkongsi. Contoh terdekat, aku lah. Haha. Jadi anak tunggal perempuan dan anak sulung kepada adik-beradik yang lain, aku tidak berkongsi bilik, pakaian dan barang-barang peribadi. And so, maybe I will took some time to get used of my married life in the future. Kalo kawen la. Haha.

Tapi, kalo di pertengahan jalan itu masih tidak mampu bina kesefahaman, rasa kebersamaan, mungkin akan terjun ke jurang bahaya. Seperti kisah realiti yang aku saksikan. Walaupun sudah berkahwin berpuluh tahun, walaupun anak-anak sudah besar panjang, kalo seni rumahtangga itu masih tidak dikuasai, kalo ikutkan nafsu dan perasaan semata, kalo tidak berfikir panjang dalam melakukan tindakan, maka situasi pertama tadi mungkin akan berubah.

Tiada lagi Kita. Yang ada hanya Aku dan Kamu.

Risau. Seandainya akulah yang akan melakukan khilaf itu.

Risau. Seandainya pasangan akulah yang lupa itu.

Risau. Seandainya Kamilah yang melakukan silap itu.

Serius. Aku takut bila menyaksikan pelbagai kisah kehidupan yang berlaku di depan mata. Terkadang, andai aku tak tahan lagi melihat dan mendengar semua yang berlaku itu, aku lari juga. Dan semestinya, gugur juga titis jernih.

Entah. Mungkin aku lemah.

Tapi, aku harap, Engkau akan menguatkan Aku. Dan Aku akan melengkapkan hidup Engkau.

Semoga jalan Kita baik-baik saja.

InsyaAllah.

Wallahua'lam.

One Little Treasure Called EIFJAN

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Actually,one of my besties asked me to write about us a loooooonnnggg time ago..

us?

who?

EIFJAN

ERMA.IKANUR.FARAH.JAJA.ADAH.NANA

Jaja.Erma.Adah.Ikanur.Farah.Nana

but then,

it took a long time for me to to write about us..

why?

I don't know..

then,this question popped in my mind this morning..

or maybe it had popped before this,I'm not so sure..

DO WE REALLY REALLY REALLY CHONMAL CHINCHA KNOW EACH OTHER?

Well I mean luar dalam la..

instead of just lepaking together when we're on sem break..

rather than how many years we have been together..

There's a saying..

If the relationship lasts for 7 years,it will last forever..

duhh seyesly I hope the same for us..aamiin :)

time flies..

things change..

Us too..

having an observer's personality,made me see what is happening..

by time,we're growing up..

we took our own path..

some to overseas,some still in Malaysia,and some even in 1 university..

yet,it's a BIG difference compared to that times back then..

of course laa..

takkan nak berada di takuk lama sampai bila2 kan..

silly me :P

PEOPLE CHANGE

as time flies,

I'm wondering..

do they change too?

how do I say this?

hmmm..

ada seorang yang makin berubah..

menjadi seorang ustajah,maybe?

hehe

kata-katanya makin berbunga..

yang baik2 sajooo..

terkadang bila fikiran jahatku datang,

aku fikir,

hek elehh perlu ke nak tunjuk benda2 baik camtu kat wechat bagai,nak berpuitis,bermadah pujangga..

now THAT is true silly thought of mine..

*ketuk kepala

daripada aku fikir bukan2,baik aku dekati dia,aku tanya dia sendiri..

dan aku makin tahu the personality of hers..

she's really nice..

won't deny the fact that I envy of her..

apekebendaa lah aku fikir bukan2 dulu..dush3

^^

ada seorang lagi,berubah jugak..

her attire improved..

yet,there's still kanak-kanak side in her..

and PINK ohmygoshh!!

haha

and,I don't know..

maybe because of that attire,

people keep expecting the infinity from her..

tak boleh itu,tak boleh ini..

well,to me,it's not about that attire actually..

it's about mentality..

kadang2 aku terfikir..

dia tahu orang akan cakap yg bukan2..

bila keluar ngn bestfriend lelaki,tangkap gambar berdua whatsoever..

walau dia tahu cerita sebenar apa yang jadi..

walau pada matanya,itu tak salah..

of course mulut orang kita tak boleh tutup..

but it's better to elak fitnah..

can't bear hearing those cakap2 from other people..

because she is my babe..

weyy kau mengata kawan aku kowt!

it's because they don't know the truth..

though u know what is right,what is wrong..

sorry,huhu..

and I see an independent grown up lady in her..

I love to read her writings..

so nice,so direct,no kona-kona..

terkadang menyentap kalbu..

well kekadang kebenaran tu pahit kan..uhuk3

and envy kowtt orang pandai menulis..hehe

and most important,

can't wait nak rasa dia punya masakan..hikss

seorang lagi,

being mysterious since zaman sekolah..

we're always saying that she's anak mama papa..

always sticking to her family..

paling susah kalo diajak hangout..

haha

dulu aku tak faham,kenapa lahaiii sukaaaa sangat berkepit ngan family..

get a life laa!!toing3

tapi sekarang aku dah faham..

bila berada di dunia luar,bergaul dengan macam2 orang,

buat aku faham..

well honestly,aku selesa dengan dia..

being prejudice,it's not her..

that is why I have no doubt in sharing my probs with her..

I see she's improving herself..

bit by bit..

time by time..

 to be a better muslimah,despite the lacks that she have..

because there is no perfect people..

sorang lagi,is like our mom..

the most matured among us..

though actually she's anak bongsu..haha

maybe she learnt from her sooo many siblings,I guess?

the most calm person among us too..

the most gila2 person pun dia jugak..

alahaii bikin aku tersenyum sorang2..

but she is secretive..

sama mysterious like the previous one..

noticed that she don't really talk about this feeling2 thingy..

just live her life to the fullest..

inside,I don't know her gelora jiwa..

what is she facing on..

alahaiii kawan apa laa aku ni kan?

toing3

the last but not least,sorang lagi..

yang paling awkward being around with,I should say?

haha

kenapa?

entahlaa..

jarang lovey dovey berdua..hihi

selalu hangout ramai2 je..

until the moment she came to my house..

buat aku terfikir..

why on Earth I can't break the wall?

xboleh jadi ni..

looking forward for the better self..

kena cari that point to get ourself together..

adoiii..

nevertheless,

never miss a thing about her..

I know her latest updates..

I know what is happening to her..

dia happy,dia sedih,dia patah hati,dia meroyan..

semua aku tahu..

uishh seram tak??haha

well,that's the use of the social network,nay?

it's lucky she shares everything..

hiksss ;)

aku?

masih ingin mengenali mereka..

the one that I claim as my besties..

aku nak kenal mereka lagi..

lagi dan lagi..

I know,

walau berubah macam mana sekalipun,

still akan ada that kanak-kanak ribena punya sifat dalam diri kami..

walau berubah macam mana sekalipun,

kami tetap EIFJAN..

there's no other person resembles EIFJAN..

the one and only EIFJAN..

walau kami mungkin tak kenal each other 100%,masih banyak yang perlu diselongkar,tak berkepit 24/7, have new friends,have our own life,

we are still the unique EIFJAN..

yang aku tahu,

I LOVE EIFJAN..

hellooo they're my treasure kowt!

besties till jannah insyaAllah..

xoxo

p/s: mampus aku kalo dyorang baca semua ni..haha..

to my EIFJAN..jangan bagitau saya kalo baca seme ni..

senyap2 sajooo..hehe

and,mohon maaf atas salah silap selama ni..

million thanks to all of you..

always know that all of me love all of you..

;)

wallahua'lam..

The heart wants what it wants?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

hey peeps!

oh it's soo good when the wifi is back to normal yeahhh!

due to banjir,it took days to recover..huhu

and dah berapa hari I've procrastinate to write this..

okay la..

at least boleh tulis jugak kan..

THE HEART WANTS IT WANTS..

seem familiar??

oh of course!

haha

it's from selena gomez yaw!

entah kenapa aku rasa hooked gila ngan lagu ni..

toing3..

tapi bukan pasal lagu tu yg aku nak sentuh hari ni..

it's about what is behind that line..

pabila hati menginginkan apa yang diinginkan

that's the translation..

harituu kan kecoh isu kpoppers peluk2 thingy kan..

entah..

dah ramai orang ulas pasal hukum and whatsoevahh..

so aku nak cakap lain sikit dari itu..

of course it relates to da title of course..

it's about how on earth did they have the guts to do that thingy..

kenapa diorang boleh terfikir untuk buat benda tu?

which I've the confident that they've aware about the hukum,kan?

well,simple..

sebab mereka terlalu ikutkan perasaan..

katanya dah ituu yg hati mereka mahukan..

the heart wants what it wants..

walaupun benda tuu salah..

so,apa iktibarnya?

THIS!

tak semestinya apa yang hati kita nak tuu,kita perlu buat,kita boleh buat..

kena laa tapis dulu,

walau naaakkkk macam mana sekalipun..

dan..

belajar bahawa kita perlu bersederhana dalam apa2 perkara..

wasatiyyah..

minat kpop tu boleh sajoo..

aku pun layan jea..

tapi,janganlaaa fanatic damn much kan..

kalo tak,macam nii laa jadinya..

can't be helped..

but to follow what the heart wants..

which is not good,of course..

sebab tuu kita ada al-Quran sebagai panduan..

sama ada apa yang kita nak buat tu boleh dibuat atau tidak..

betul atau tidak kata hati kita tuu..

Dan hendaklah ada di antara kamu satu puak yang menyeru (berdakwah) kepada kebajikan (mengembangkan Islam), dan menyuruh berbuat segala perkara yang baik, serta melarang daripada segala yang salah (buruk dan keji). Dan mereka bersifat yang demikian ialah orang-orang yang berjaya.

-Ali Imran 104-

kerana, 

and actually,

kalau hati kita ni hidup,

akan terdetik di hati,

"benda ni salah.."

automatically..

dan kalau mereka tetap lakukan benda yang dah diketahui salah,

maknanya hati mereka telah mati..

Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk Neraka Jahannam banyak dari jin dan manusia yang mempunyai hati (tetapi) tidak mahu memahami dengannya (ayat-ayat Allah), dan yang mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak mahu melihat dengannya (bukti keesaan Allah) dan yang mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak mahu mendengar dengannya (ajaran dan nasihat); mereka itu seperti binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat lagi; mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai. -Al-A'raf 179-

Na'udzubillahimin zaalik..

moga Allah beri petunjuk dan hidayah buat kita semua..

...

humm..

tengah timbang2 sama ada nak sentuh bab ni ataupun tidak..

hum..alang2 dah tulis kan..

hee

tapi insyAllah,tak menyimpang dari tajuk lagi..

ngeh3

well,

hidup sebagai seorang anak,

everything kena mintak izin parents..

especially for something soo important,

regarding our life..

because I've learnt too much..

about keredhaan ibu bapa thingy..

cukup la sekali aku hadapi the consequences of tak taat..

serik..

taknak dah..

ingat kay,

redha Allah terletak pada redha ibu bapa..

and so,

the greenlight for that thingy fades..

and turn to red lights..

and I was like..

okay.

fullstop.

no more words.

it's good that I've expected the worst..

or else,it'll disappoint too much..

kekadang,,

kita tak dapat apa yang kita inginkan tuu..

tapi apa2 pun,

just think positive..

sakit tu memang sakit..

seyesly it hurts..

but we don't know HIS planning,right?

so just bear with it..

"takpe lah..ikutkan aje..kata anak solehah..kan?"

-DRZ-

noted that..

and thank you for being strong..

and for not pressuring me anymore..

kerana itu menguatkan aku..

just keep praying and praying..

may the sweetness of the pain akan kita kecapi nanti..

which I don't really know when..

sighh..

mungkin ini untuk melatih aku,

as the way of life is full of tests..

feel like I'm stronger than before..

and I hope I'll be strong forever..

thank You,Allah..

and I'll leave the lyrics here,so that u don't hav to search it..

weeee!

You got me sippin' on something

I can't compare to nothing

I've ever known, I'm hoping

That after this fever I'll survive

I know I'm acting a bit crazy

Strung out, a little bit hazy

Hand over heart, I'm praying

That I'm gonna make it out alive

The bed's getting cold and you're not here

The future that we hold is so unclear

But I'm not alive until you call

And I'll bet the odds against it all

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear

You might be right but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants

You got me scattered in pieces

Shining like stars and screaming

Lightening me up like Venus

But then you disappear and make me wait

And every second's like torture

Hell over trip, no more so

Finding a way to let go

Baby baby no I can't escape

The bed's getting cold and you're not here

The future that we hold is so unclear

But I'm not alive until you call

And I'll bet the odds against it all

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear

You might be right but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants (x4)

This is a modern fairytale

No happy endings

No wind in our sails

But I can't imagine a life without

Breathless moments

Breaking me down down down

The bed's getting cold and you're not here

The future that we hold is so unclear

But I'm not alive until you call

And I'll bet the odds against it all

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear

You might be right but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants (x4)

The heart wants what it wants baby

Source:http://www.directlyrics.com/selena-gomez-heart-wants-what-it-wants-lyrics.html

p/s: belum apa2 lagi abah dah tanya result keluar bila..ohmyy I don't know..

this semester was sooo dahsyat..

tak tahuuu lah apa akan jadi nanti..

just pray for the best natijah..

Bismillahi tawakkaltu 'ala Allah..

;)

wallahua'lam..