Thursday, October 19, 2017



Hey guys! Actually I’m thinking of writing on this as a reflection. Few things happened these couple of days regarding on this and they kinda made me thinking.

Well, stepping into the adult life, we can’t escape of the fact that we need to make our own decisions on everything. Or maybe most of the things. As for me, although I was trained to make decisions since I was in school or university, yet I think it is more intense the older we get. I’ve been chatting with my friends, my old friends, and my best friends. Coincidently the issues kinda same.


It’s like “I want this, but I also want that”, “I want to go but I don’t want to leave them”, “I want to do all but the packed commitments do affect other people too”, “I want to work but I want to study”, and the list goes on.

Yeah it’s tough right?

One of my friends told me something that opened my eyes when I told her that I envy of those people yang hidup dah senang dapat kerja duit banyak etc2.

And she said, “Yeah but have u ever think what they’ve lost as a payment for success? What have Allah taken from them in order to give something great? Dia hilang mak dia, ayah dia dah makin tua, dia hilang umur dia belajar lama-lama. Dia hilang keinginan nak berfesyen smart2 sebab fikir tanggungjawab. Sanggup ke family hilang dari kita as a payment for those great success? Kalo I, I tak sanggup. Tengok semua adik2 dah berubah dah makin dewasa pun memang terasa I hilang masa I dengan family I. I paling tak boleh kalo hilang family.”


Perghh deep much sehhh. And I can’t agree more. Indeed the sacrifice is real. Indeed the struggle is not a joke. Indeed the pain is to bear. Because I’m experiencing the same. I’ve made my decision to further my Masters studies far away from everyone as I’m blessed with scholarship from the institute, Alhamdulillah. Yet the price is so much to be paid. I will lose my time with my family, I will have to survive by myself there for almost 2 years and the most important thing is I will lose my precious time with my husband, I will have to deny the instincts for having a baby for now.  Kadang terasa kejam juga plus people keep asking my why I’m not going there with my husband bla3 tho we got reasons.
But that is it! That is the price if I’m going to get a step further in my life. If we are not willing of those, then goodbye Masters! Kan?

And then last night my bestie reached me telling me that she’s in dilemma of her job and studies. Wait. It’s 2 jobs and masters study phewww. Katanya her packed commitments already affected other team members so she can’t stay put anymore. So she’s postponing her studies for the sake of her job training. After the life gets stable in the job then she will continue the courses. Ironic right? Well, that’s life! Tak semua yang kita nak grab tu kita dapat. Kadang ada yang masih belum rezeki kita. Our task is to try our best. And for you, may Allah ease your way, dearie.

So that is it. Nothing good in this world is free. We need to sacrifice precious things for them. But once the decisions are made, then no more turning back. Just step ahead. Yes life is just not easy so embrace yourselves. But always remember that Allah will lead the way for you till the end. And that was how you’ve survived all this way. And will also survive by that way, insyaAllah. Chill.

Apa-apa sekalipun, ikhlas dengan segala pengorbanan, sabar dengan segala dugaan yang datang. Kerana syurga itu sedang menanti hambaNya yang beriman.


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

First 100 Days of Us


Hey peeps!
Hope everyone is in the best state yea. So finally I’m here special for this big new stage of my life:


Entah laa tapi cam comel je kah3

Well actually I just want to note this here so I can always remember this early stage of our marriage. I don’t have any intention to spread annoying stories and so. Though I actually start this entry as one of my friend suggested me to update on my marriage coz she forgot that I already got married hahahh. So below are my thoughts. Enjoy reading! ;)

It has been 103 days since I got married to a very kind man on 7/7/17. And I learnt so much on living together with our partner. Yes I did live together with my friends during my university days. Changing roommates every session, with different pesen for each. YET, IT IS NOT THE SAME. For marriage, we’ve accepted somebody to go through the journey together, we need to adapt with the habits, which sometimes are good habits and there is no exception to bad habits too. PLUS AND PLUS my husband and I are living with the only two of us. Not like other people living with family or in laws after got married so we can draw our own picture. 

As for me myself, it feels like I’m getting to know to someone new though we’ve known each other since 2011. Yet I didn’t know him so much back then cause we had a long distance relationship before, only few meetings in a year and these went on for 4 years since we declared to wait for each other on Eidul Fitr 2013 and got engaged on 2014. So there were only good attitudes there hahaha. Though that time I was denying that we were only showing our good self. I thought that that was already my real me. Yes it was real, but not all attitudes were revealed LOL. (And yes congratulations to both of us surviving 4 years of LDR Alhamdulillah ^^ Nak tips pm tepi hahaha).

Looking backwards, honestly I feel blessed with this man I married. Of course he is not the perfect man in the world, but he’s too good for me already. A tolerate and nice and lovable man. Yet he do has flaws. Humans kan.. He is not a bad tempered person but I will back off if he is pissed off on his office matter and so. I’ve seen he’s being mad for once on that and I hope I won’t see that again hahahah seram sehhh orang tak pernah marah tetiba meletupp!!! Tatau nak react cemana LOL tho it’s not because of us. He’s lack of sense too (typical man) so I will have to tell him if there’s something going on or you will makan hati sensorang laa kalo tak luahkan hahaha. But every time he did bit wrong, he will apologize and so do I. This is what I like for both of us. Communication and tolerate is the key here. So I hope we can maintain this.

 All my gratitude to Allah swt, Alhamdulillah for blessing me with this marriage. He didn’t mind of my pesen selekeh and ganas (due to living with 5 boys at home LOL), well we did gusti and sumo sampai tergolek2 kah3 teruk betul. He’s also fighting so hard to adapt with his cengeng wife yang sikit2 nak berair mata kalo touching pape maigadd annoying betul bini camni hahahah. And he didn’t mind that I want to further my studies far away from him, yet he is the one who supports the most! He also taught me of what I didn’t know, he let me be the queen of our palace, letting me to decorate and serlahkan bakat as housewife. The most important thing is, he will finish off everything that I cook for us, each time. Like pinggan semua licin sehhh!! Of course I won’t mind cooking for him if that is the way he eat my cooking hahahah. But the negative side is both of us got spare tyres on our both sides omaigaadddddd!!! I myself gained 8 KILOS after 3 month babe duhhh!!! *facepalm* We are soooo going to do something before it’s too late LOL. Padahal dah 23 tahun hidup dengan underweight alahaii.

Of all those things, the biggest thing that I feel glad he’s being tolerate for is on pursuing my dreams. Since before we got married, he is my greatest supporter other than my family. He cleared to me that he won’t mind I’m working or studying after we got married later. He let me decide on my dreams. Whatever my decision will be, he will support. So that is why I dared to further my studies to Ireland soon, insyaAllah (Alhamdulillah I passed an interview with the Irish institute director and got scholarships^^).

Well, people keep asking me “kenapa tak bawa husband sekali?”, “kenapa nak tinggal husband sorang2 kat Malaysia?”, “tak patut betul tinggal suami macam tu” and the list goes on. Even parents pun kinda reluctant to let me go before knowing that my husband supports my decision. Allahu, only He knows how those words break my heart so much. There is no one that willing to leave their spouse for a long time laaa. I’m doing this with his support. He is the one who won’t let me give up on this opportunity. PLUS, SAPE NAK TANGGUNG WEHH DEDUA NAK DUDUK IRELAND PUHLEASEEEE!! He also got his own commitment here lah. You wouldn’t expect he will leave his job as a doctor here, right? Ceiitttt!

He once told me, “You’re going there to study. For jihad fi sabilillah. Why would I hold you back, right? Whatever your decision is, I will support you. You already got this chance. Grab it. You’ve also gone through many things for this.” 
So for the sake of knowledge, we have to go through this.

As for him, he also just passed an interview at IIUM Medical Centre and now waiting for the official letter (well I think it’s already near a month passed aigoo). Cecepatlah sampai surat panggilan tu. Let him start his new life there. It’s too stressful here. I’ve seen it myself. May he get his happiness and satisfaction working in a new place later, insyaAllah.

All in all, these are few things that I learnt from our first 100 days of marriage. May these stay forever, insyaAllah. Aamiin.

Don’t keep it to yourself. Especially if it is a big thing. This is the key for a good marriage far from bad thoughts.

Each time you do wrong, lower down your ego and ask for forgiveness. We can avoid hard feelings by doing this.

Well, most of the hours are in workplace kan. So avoid negative things and negative feelings. It’s a waste of time. Take the chance to nurture the love.

Being a wife of a doctor, I should adapt to his priorities. Yet he also did his best for his wife so I won't feel lonely if he got on call or locum at the clinic at night. Should keep this up.

We do have our things and hobbies. So do me and him. Let him have his time on his hobbies; gaming and badminton. I just let myself into badminton too so we can have fun together.

Seriously this heals a lot. Support each other. It is the best medicine, surely.

It doesn’t matter to be a kanak-kanak Ribena till now but be wise on the situation.

Well yang ni terlebih doses dah rasanya. He kept on laughing whenever I say and do something that maybe funny to him hahahah kadang pelik plak aku ni kelakar sangat keee asyik nak gelak je LOL. Yet it feels good to see him cheerful ihiks.

Perform solat and recite al-Quran together, go to mosque together for teachings.

10. SYUKUR. 
Always do reflections and express gratitude to Allah for His blessings. Be thankful with everything you got. It will make us value this bond.

Dear husband, I hope that we can keep on improving our life and live a happy life till jannah. The test is not yet to come but I hope we can prepare our best self to go through anything that will appear in the future. May we always refresh our love and always be the newly-wed couple living a harmonious life. Infinity thank you for coming into my life, waiting years for me, and took this ordinary little girl as your life partner. InsyaAllah we got each other forever. Aamiin.

I think that’s all for now. These are just my thoughts going through early stage of marriage. It’s still new for me to give advices and so. Me too taking positive things from others’ experiences too. So may we get the benefit, insyaAllah. Please pray the best for me, my marriage, my studies and my life. May Allah bless all of you. Thank you.


Long journey to go.

Whooppsss!! 1 more.
P/s: I haven't write about my wedding yet. Coz I'm still waiting for my pictures. Sobbss. Will do it. I promise. Stay tuned ^^

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